Name:Victor Country:United States State:California Birthday:6/30/1982 Gender:Male
Interests:playing and listening to music, chatting online, and playing a bit of golf
Expertise:Expertise? i am no expert in any area but i do know a bit about music, art, and humor.
Occupation:Student Industry:Entertainment
So here I am back on this thing. I had a really good conversation tonight with a friend. the subject of the conversation was about old times and how we are doing and my friend pointed out that i am always running away from things. it's true... i do run away from things. I know it doesn't seem like it all the time but when it comes to things about myself I do end up running away a lot. some people think otherwise because i do so much like PYC and LKC and i work and go to school but the way I run away is different. I avoid appreciation for myself or any work that I do. I take pride in the accomplishment of the people around me but I neglect my having to do with being a part of it. I've also avoided certain things like taking care of myself to the best of my ability, like seeing doctors or really seeking out and trying to get health insurance.
I don't know why it is that i do run away or avoid things the way i do. In some ways i guess i do it because i constantly put others before myself. I am trying to work at this little by little. i know i sometimes have to be selfish to take care of myself and i need to challenge myself to do so more often. I know it's not good that I try very hard to care for the well being of so many others but i really try not to take care of myself at all. I really need to get away from my constant feeling of self-hate. if i can give people advice and tell them to see a doctor when they need to i should be able to do so myself. I need to be upfront more and if i feel a certain way i should say what i think or feel. i can't be afraid of myself anymore. if i'm wrong about things it's ok. it's like that scene in Coach Carter with that guy talking about his greatest fear. i am afraid that i am powerful beyond i can imagine and i constantly play myself smaller than i actually can because i am afraid of being wrong or letting people know what my opinion is because i think my opinions are stupid. good conversation tonight AJ, i really needed to hear those things and i'll work on it forreal and not just say i know and avoid it.
On a lighter note Cal won against Tennessee today and that's something that makes me happy. even tho i don't go to Cal i still love that football team and yes i am a Ted-Head. The Pac-10 is looking exciting this year with Cal's win and also UCLA and USC winning their games today. I had some doubts that i would be excited about Cal football this year with Marshawn Lynch going to the NFL. but as I watched the first half of the Cal game today i saw a lot of good things. it made me realize why i love Cal football so much. It's not just about Aaron Rodgers or Marshawn Lynch that makes me come back to watching Cal every year. it's the team, Memorial Stadium, everything. i was really impressed with the Rookie HB Jahvid Best with his 4 carries. i've been missing things a lot lately and i'm excited about the return of things like Cal football, playing fantasy football again, and i just really appreciate the times i've been spending with people. So i need to work on some things and i need to be positive not only in general but with myself and the things i am doing.
I'll also try to post more. my opinions do matter and what's on my mind is more than surveys and Adonal Foyle tribute videos so i'll try to share more.... if i'm not lazy hahaha =P
So, i'm actually going to post again hahaha but yeah i had this on my mind because a friend of mine was asking me about the whole "nice guy" persona and stuff which led to an online rant i read a long ass time ago and some videos by those guys at wongfu productions. so i wanted to post the rant and the videos on here to see what people think of it.
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.
The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Videos: part 1
part 2
part 3
Some people label me as a nice guy but that's who i am and i doubt that will change. now due to Tylenol Cold medicine i will retire to a deep sleep. Nice guy or not i know one thing and that is that Popeye is a great man. in his words, "i am, what i am" and that's how i roll too. by the way i've been hella busy with the "people's work" lately and things are good, we repped at the Philippine Consulate and we were shown on channel 2 news for a whopping 30 seconds hahaha. but yeah i need rest from a busy weekend and work too so g'nite ya'll.
The Slow Dancer Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)
Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.
Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.
Your exact male opposite: The Hornivore Random Brutal Sex Master
While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.
ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe (DBLM)
CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor (DGLM) or The Sonnet (DGLD)
So i haven't been so good at writing in this thing after all. so much for new years resolutions huh? well i guess this entry isn't gonna be so normal for me. usually my entries are really structured and stuff but today i'm just going to type, whatever is on my mind or whatever the voice in my head is saying is what's going down here. so lately in school i haven't been doing well, this past weekend i found out i didn't pass JEPET and i've been put on Academic Probation. for me that's a little hard to take since I am usually pretty good at timed in class essays for one, i've taken like 3 practice JEPETs before and passed all with flying colors, and i've never been on academic probation ever in my 7 years of college to date till now. Last semester I would blame begonia's class for taking up so much of my time. but now that i'm not in the class anymore i can't say that. maybe i do it to myself. last semester it was begonia but this semester i have a job, PYC and i'm full time student. i'm tired all the time and i fall asleep in places a lot like class, or in parked cars. at one point every day felt like an anxiety attack. but i think things are starting to look up. i got a test back in my AAS 200 class and i got a 10/12 on it. i've also been thinking about how to do my presentation on Japanese American Community to my AAS 331 class and i think i have a good idea of how to go about it by basic organizing like defining community before moving on to exact examples of how japanese community is. aside from that i have to worry about 2 papers i need to do... i was hoping i can turn it in during or after spring break but i dunno if that'll fly with my professors.
I think a lot of things are starting to look up because i'm starting to get a lot of help with PYC because we hired 2 new advisors Heather and Alan. they've done a lot to ease up some stress on my part. Alan is so sharp in terms of thinking things out and stuff and Heather is very active during meetings and they're both very organized. I just hope that I can keep up with them. So far as advisors we've kicked it a lot. we've had like 2 dinners together just getting to know each other and i think that's really good because if we're supposed to work as a unit we have to know each other and know how each act and stuff. so far it seems that Heather is crazy, Alan is cool and reserved, and i'm somewhere in between.
Even tho i have help now i still have this feeling that i need a break or something. i envy the folks at LFS. they're so dope that they do the work that they do but make it a point to meet up and play Halo or Basketball or Kick Ball or something. i think that's why the 2 new advisors help me because not only do we get stuff done for PYC we also just kick back sometimes and just talk about regular shit. like last night we were supposed to have a staff meeting but no one could really make it so me, alan, and heather played with alan's Dreamcast at Liwanag. good frigin times! i think that's what i need just some good times, especially since all the stuff in my life right now don't seem very positive. I think that's good for now.
So it's been 14+2 days since my last entry. i can't help but wonder why i'm so bad at this blogging thing. i mean really it's a simple process, log on and write down my thoughts but i guess i'm just lazy but it is still January afterall and like the title says i'm still working at it. So what to talk about... well, Tahoe was ok... i mean how can someone not like staying in a 5 star hotel with jacuzzi tubs, sauna rooms, and all those fancy amenities. well really the only thing that could have made it really great for me was if my friends were with me. they were in Tahoe that weekend but they stayed in a cabin up in North Tahoe whereas my Hotel was down in the Nevada side of South Tahoe. I have said it a million times and i'll say it here, Money and Material shit can't compare to good friends and good company. not to say that my family and 2 cousins weren't good company, but i just knew where my mind was that weekend. Speaking of my mind, that weekend not only was it with my friends but it was also stuck on how i was going to get PYC up to Davis for the Retreat. So once i got back from Tahoe I knew I had some serious stuff to work on. But Tahoe wasn't too bad, me and my cousin Dave got some buy 1 drink get 1 drink free coupons so one night we both drank down 2 Long Islands and we got in his Pathfinder and went to the Heavenly parking lot and whipped some donuts in the snow covered parking lot. Another fun thing we did was we went up to the floor with 2 jacuzzis, 1 outdoor 1 indoor and chilled in some hot ass tubs and i tried to freeze my t-shirt in the -4 degree weather.
So on to the PYC Davis Retreat. We worked out the ride situation, i drove the Land Cruiser and waited till 6 so Paul could get off of work and help drive the kids. The Retreat itself was kind of like last year, as an advisor not really eventful and pretty boring really. The kids on the other hand had a really great time. they liked interacting with all the other kids and being able to come out of their shells a bit and just spazz out as one of them put it. Another good thing about the retreat was there were like 6 El Camino students there and I've been trying to outreach to Elco for the past year on trying to get kids to come out to PYC and here at the retreat are some Elco kids. so to make the long story short, we have like 4 new PYC SMC members from Elco. I really gotta thank Ms. Macapinlac over at Elco for all her help.
On to school. yes school. it's started up again and so far so...BORING.... i have 4 classes and i've consistantly fallen asleep in 3 out of the 4 classes. the only positive is i have a lot of friends in all the classes. i think if i have a lot of friends in my classes i'll be more inclined to stay on task. hehe i say that yet i've fallen asleep in a bunch of classes already.
This is usually where i talk about personal shiet so yeah it is what it is... shit. like i got this girl's number last wednesday but i hella forgot her name. hella embarassing but yeah i found out her name is Michelle but yeah, i dunno if i should call her. she just got out of a relationship and was engaged for a time so i don't want to be someone's rebound. I noticed i'm dealing with a lot of internal issues, like i was hesitant to turn in my paperwork for the park and rec job. i'm afraid to move on i guess. and also if i'm the right person for the work that i'm doing with PYC. i'm a really balanced person... i don't like to be too liberal or conservative so i dunno. Also my frustrations with relationship stuff has not changed. same shit as usual i have no idea what females want but i don't think that i am it. i'm not trying to be negative but i just don't get it sometimes. some girls say they want a nice guy that will treat them right and when i try to be that i still can't even get the time of day. But all in all nothing really different same frustrations same issues.
Oh I also noticed that i've had to live 3 different lives a lot recently. when i'm with PYC i have to be fun but an adult at the same time and be responsible for what goes on. when i'm with Kapwamilia i'm like a parent that has to watch over everyone and make sure nothing bad happens. when i'm with "the guys" then i don't have to worry so much on safety issues and don't have to think so much on responsibility. in some ways i see the 3 entities running together a little bit, like if i'm with "the guys" i won't be as offensive as i used to be. like the other day i was walking with Nikki and Paul at Skyline and i said that sometimes i forget that i'm an advisor and i want to just say whatever random stuff is on my mind like when i saw this muslim girl in traditional clothes covered from head to toe in it and i wanted to say SCORPION! like in Mortal Kombat but i didn't cuz i caught myself. But sometimes it's a good thing that these people that i have to be are running together because all in all it's still just me. like the other night i went drinking and karaoke with some friends and i joke around but i'm not out to put anyone down at the same time and i think it's healthy for my group of friends that i can joke with them but not in a way that i'm hurting anyone's feelings. Speaking of that night it was really fun drinking and singing with my friends and it's something i need to do more often cuz all the other stuff in my life is really stressful and sometimes i don't want to think of being a parent or teacher to someone and just want to share free time with people i have fun with.
"Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away"
PYC, Kapwamilia, "The Guys" all are moments that take my breath away. i just gotta find balance... and a girl that takes my breath away hahaha.
So yeah, that's my latest update. I hope to try to write more... like i said before... i'm working on it.
